I've been video gaming for awhile now. Since the early 80's ,even before going to school, I was blasting away aliens in monochrome glory. So I'd like to think that I have some experience on the subject.
Video games have come a long way since Space Invaders and Asteroids. Not only the technology but gameplay mechanics, level design and even character creation, yet there's some shit that modern games do which is just plainfuctarded.
1. The 'You can't skip this' cutscenes.
Seriously, do I have to watch the same shit over and over again everytime I play something? Do I really have to sit there while Ezio bonks what's-her-name?
Surely it can't be that fucking hard to program the thing to skip the cutscene by pressing a button.
Look, I can even write it in BASIC.
10 PRINT "PRESS 'X' TO SKIP CUTSCENE"
20 INPUT A$
30 IF A$="X" THEN GOTO 50
40 GOTO 10
50 PRINT "LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS CUTSCENE"
2. The dude factor.
It seems that there's a current trend, specially amongst driving games, where everyone does some bad Ninja Turtles immitation.
"Dude, that was totally awesome driving!" or "Gnarly drifting on those corners! So rad!"
All this while generic pop punk blasts away in the background.
One of these days I'll snap and put my fist through my monitor.
3. What's Wikipedia?
Thanks to the internet, never in the history of humanity has the sum of our knowledge been so readily available. So why the fuck do gaming companies keep getting basic facts wrong? Have they never heard of Wikipedia?
For example, I was playing Bad Company 2 and as the game progressed, some of the stages were set in Chile. It was the stranget Chile I've ever seen. I think the developers said "Hey, they speak Spanish down there... It must be just like Mexico! Pass me another cheeseburger."
Seriously, I'm just waiting for the day where they show New York as massive trailer park and Paris as a sleepy Chinese village.
Listening to: Benjamin Biolay