Underneath my bitter, cynical and angry exterior resides a lot of respect. Not one thing in particular but many. Respect for Ska music, quantum physics, Angelina Crow in Animal Trainer 20 (what a trooper!) and Korean food. Yes, Korean food.
My fondness for the East Asian cuisine grows a little bit more every time I frequent a certain restaurant which happens to be close to my place.
You see, the thing is that at this particular Korean restaurant has a large LCD screen playing Korean music videos... and by that I mean girly pop idol group music videos.
Now, Japanese idol groups are usually a bunch of cute-as-fuck girls lip syncing to something produced by fifty thousand dollars worth of music software, synths and a fairly savvy marketing department. Korean groups are pretty much the same, except that to 'cute-as-fuck' they also added the 'instant-erection-hotness' factor. Video after video, it was but a dream parade of skimpily, clad drop dead gorgeous girls prancing about... it was very difficult to leave the restaurant. Mind you though, it was mainly because it's really embarrassing to walk around with a boner.
After a while, when I managed to tear my eyes from the tiny shorts and skin tight pants, I started to notice something fishy. I know Korean girls... and these girls looked nothing like them.
Of course I don't mean that everyone can look like a model but I'm talking more about ethnic traits. As far as I know, Korea is a fairly homogeneous country so I started noticing that all these girls had something in common... Caucasian features!
Folds in their eyelids to give the impression of big eyes, high nose bridge, pointy noses... They all had gone under the knife!! It was not genes, it was surgery!
No, Korea has nothing in the water making stunning women, just good surgeons.
I felt cheated and deceived. I could not believe I was fooled by the greedy South Korean music industry.
As I sat there, slowly eating my seafood pancake and four thousand plates of side dishes I stared one last time at that LCD screen, purveyor of lies, and attempted to come to terms with my realisation. Only one thing went through my mind... FUCK THEY ARE HOT!
Listening to: Ska
Watching: James May's Man Lab